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尽管收到许多V110（A）的求改作文，但极少有考生真正完全理解题意，甚至有人推断中国人学英语会导致汉语的消失。现我把自己写的范文给大家参考，而且我是按“投考官所好”的"Introduction---thesis statement,Body--topic sentence+supporting sentences, Conclusion----suggestion"这种结构来写的。这种写法对一般考生（5、6分者）来讲比较难，因为采用不少SUMMARY，仅做参考。(注：文章中的"Se ethnic minorities"为中国畬族，用“She”容易引起误会，故用"Se"。其实你也可以编一个）

Version110
Why are a variety of languages and cultures disappearing nowadays?

-----------discussion-----42+112+121+34=309 words in total------------

Introduction: (42 words)
Now the chance of experiencing different lifestyles or imitating to speak a few words of other languages for fun is slim due to the disappearance of some cultures and languages. I think that superstitious cultures and languages behind modern times cannot survive（thesis statement). 

Body1 (112words)
Once I visited Se ethnic minorities village, located on a hillside in south of China. To my disappointment, I did not feel a different thing about ethnic clothes, food or music. Ridiculously, an old villager said that the forefather of his race had been an embodiment of a fairy with a dog head and a human body! The old generations have been proud of being the descendants of the fairy; however, Generation Y may feel ashamed of that because they know exactly this is a superstitious myth and to be a dog's descendants is not a glorious thing.Apparently,the cultures basing on superstitious belief would be torn down by social progress(topic sentence). 

Body2(121words)
Further more, a language without written methods may be replaced by advanced one(topic sentence). There are many parts of the world where people cannot write because they do not have their own written language. The only way they can preserve their history is to recount it as sagas handed down from one generation of storytellers to another. With the fast pace of globalization, international aid can be put forward to reach every corner of the world. Those underdeveloped or isolated areas could receive food, medicine and  education. The advanced civilization has pervaded into those primitive cultures hence they have started to learn writing something by the means of  the available language accompanied with aid. Therefore their original one would have disappeared.

Conclusion (34words)
In conclusion, the disappearance of some cultures or languages is not worth preventing. This is an unavoidable outcome of the global economic growth. Most importantly, people can enjoy more prosperity and social progress.